Aaron Hall will whisper the shit out of your dog.
Okay. So. Aaron Hall. Yall know who Aaron Hall is, right? 1/3 of the 90s R&B group Guy, which Hall co-founded with Teddy Riley, the father of New Jack Swing? Yeah. That guy. I loooooved Aaron Hall back in the day. “Let’s Chill” is *still* one of my favorite songs ever, to this very day. Have you been wondering where he’s been lately?
He’s been training dogs.
While wearing the latest fashions from Steve Harvey’ Easter Pimp zoot suit collection. I am not making this up.
Okay, I embellished a little with the Steve Harvey Easter Pimp thing, but this man really is driving around in a very pimpish looking suit rehabbing people’s dogs. He apparently shot a pilot for a TV show or something, called Aaron Hall’s Dog Rehab. And he does it while wearing a suit because when he wears a suit, he becomes, and I quote, a super hero.
Like… where did this even come from? Why did this happen? What I especially love is how this reel makes it look like Aaron Hall just steps on the scene and solves the problem in like 2 minutes. It’s like–
Woman: Little Poopsy just won’t get my car when I ask her to; she’s terrified!
Aaron: Poopsy. Poopsy, get in that car.
Poopsy: *gets in the car*
Aaron. That’s what you call Aaron Hall’s dog rehab–in a suit. (which he actually says around the 3:52 mark).
Other actual things that Aaron Hall actually says:
- “I can’t wait to rehab this dog, man.”
- “I feel like if you open me up, you’ll see a dog in me.”
- “God just happened to give me a gift to understand dogs and dog understand me.” (on: the stutter he had as a child)
And all this is happening while “Don’t be Afraid” and “I Miss You” play in the background.
My favorite part (aside from when he starts speaking to the dogs in Vietnamese and freaking Farsi [WHY??!]) is at the end though, where he says, “When you see me, you’ll see me in a suit, and I’ll be at your door and I’ll be ringing your doorbell to rehab your little dog, and that’s a promise.”
Didn’t that sound like a threat? “I swear to God, B.. yo I swear to God I will come to your house and rehab your fucking dog, yo. On my mother, man. Say I won’t.”