Aaron Hall will whisper the shit out of your dog.
I could neither breathe nor believe in the reality of life anymore after the lovely Alisa at PostBourgie showed me this little clip of internet goodness. I don’t even know where to start with this.
Okay. So. Aaron Hall. Yall know who Aaron Hall is, right? 1/3 of the 90s R&B group Guy, which Hall co-founded with Teddy Riley, the father of New Jack Swing? Yeah. That guy. I loooooved Aaron Hall back in the day. “Let’s Chill” is *still* one of my favorite songs ever, to this very day. Have you been wondering where he’s been lately?
He’s been training dogs.
While wearing the latest fashions from Steve Harvey’ Easter Pimp zoot suit collection. I am not making this up.
Okay, I embellished a little with the Steve Harvey Easter Pimp thing, but this man really is driving around in a very pimpish looking suit rehabbing people’s dogs. He apparently shot a pilot for a TV show or something, called Aaron Hall’s Dog Rehab. And he does it while wearing a suit because when he wears a suit, he becomes, and I quote, a super hero.
Like… where did this even come from? Why did this happen? What I especially love is how this reel makes it look like Aaron Hall just steps on the scene and solves the problem in like 2 minutes. It’s like–
Woman: Little Poopsy just won’t get my car when I ask her to; she’s terrified!
Aaron: Poopsy. Poopsy, get in that car.
Poopsy: *gets in the car*
Aaron. That’s what you call Aaron Hall’s dog rehab–in a suit. (which he actually says around the 3:52 mark).
Other actual things that Aaron Hall actually says:
- “I can’t wait to rehab this dog, man.”
- “I feel like if you open me up, you’ll see a dog in me.”
- “God just happened to give me a gift to understand dogs and dog understand me.” (on: the stutter he had as a child)
And all this is happening while “Don’t be Afraid” and “I Miss You” play in the background.
My favorite part (aside from when he starts speaking to the dogs in Vietnamese and freaking Farsi [WHY??!]) is at the end though, where he says, “When you see me, you’ll see me in a suit, and I’ll be at your door and I’ll be ringing your doorbell to rehab your little dog, and that’s a promise.”
Didn’t that sound like a threat? “I swear to God, B.. yo I swear to God I will come to your house and rehab your fucking dog, yo. On my mother, man. Say I won’t.”
screenshot via
Splackavellie Central 
lmao. i saw this clip awhile back and had forgotten about it. i’m so glad you discovered it to share your commentary. i think he also said during this clip (can’t watch right now) that he’s been rehabbing dogs for years and celebs often call on him to train their dogs? i want this show to happen just so i can get confirmation of the validity of all this. if it is true and he’s the new jack dog whisperer, the ratings would most likely be through the roof. i could see vh1 watchers eating this up.
no words.
i would watch this. i guess i am a sucker for dog whisperer spinoffs?
oh i’d watch it too. i’d probably watch anything featuring Aaron Hall in a Steve Harvey suit, though.
hahahahaha, this is incredible.
“people i know in the entertainment world that know who i am, you know,
wesley snipes
and denzel washington
and jada
and will smith
and…
….
….
….
… and k-fed
and britney spears….
they all know that i’m a dog person.”
LOL. “yeah, you know, that little kid who played Goo on ‘My Brother and Me,” uh.. the girl who played Vickie in ‘Small Wonder’… the guy who did the voice for Teddy Ruxpin, they all know i’m a dog person.”
Dogs clearly see him as Alpha Dog, the One… maybe it’s the shiny bulging sunglasses and the hat that makes him look like some alien Super Dog from Krypton. Am I wrong, but the dogs do really seem to love him too! Great post– thanks for the laugh!
So…did Teddy Riley stop sending him royalties checks?
possibly. i really feel like he’d be doing this regardless, tho. when/if he ever makes another music video? i bet it’ll be for a song in Farsi and full of dogs. the song might even be ABOUT dogs. or about how if you cut him open you’d see a dog in him. maybe he’ll call it “Nothin’ But The Dog in Me (Literally).” produced by Nick Cannon.
You know what… *throws hands up and walks away*
The problem is that the man doesn’t know that you have to TAKE YOUR HAT OFF when you’re inside someone’s house!
It’s really a brilliantly simple concept though. I’m thinking of pitching a variation on it, with noted feline enthusiast Robert Sylvester Kelly. It’ll be called R. Kelly’s Pussy Rehab.
I passed out when I first heard about this. Seriously. This bit of fuckery made my Thanksgiving.
*no longer resembling dead, truly, most sincerly DEAD*
He’s working and he’s not on crack, so I guess I should be happy for him… with his ol’ Man with the Green-hat lookin’ ass.