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Your Love is a 187?

May 21, 2010

Sexy.

If what you’re doing in the bedroom has anything to do with death or murder… we don’t want any.

So much is inappropriate here, primarily the metaphor.  For those unfamiliar with the reference, the number 187 is the code for murder used by law enforcement officials.  It’s also what Snoop Dogg was yelling with his bleep in your mouth, fool.  It’s also the metaphor that the Whitehead Brothers chose to use in 1994 to describe what some chick was like in bed in their single “Your Love is a 187.”  Lethal.  Murderous.  Deadly.  Yet somehow.. still desirable?

This song features some of the worst metaphors ever constructed, including:

  • “You’re like a gangstress of love/so baby come and put a hit on me”
  • “Baby you can pump like a gauge/or go faster than an automatic tec”
  • “I’m yearnin’ for your 187/baby drop the bomb on me”

Gangstress of love?  :-/

We don’t know about you, but as readers/listeners/consumers of pop culture, we always hate it when someone insults our intelligence by over-explaining things.  Have faith that your listeners are smart enough to get your metaphors, song writers of the world.  Whenever you have to flat out explain it, that means it wasn’t good to begin with.  Guess what they do in the second verse?

Baby the things you do should be against the law
But there aint no law that says that you can’t break me off
Baby you can pump like a gauge
Or go faster than an automatic tec
That’s why a 187 is the way I describe your sex

Facepalm.

And what’s up with the dude with the sunglasses whose sole purpose seems to be to comment on each line that the other dude sings?  He adds nothing of value to the song.  “Yeah, you better call 911,” “You know you shouldn’t do that, baby,”  “*gun noises*”  …Why are you here?  Their moms must have made that happen.  “Johnny!  You let your little brother get on this song witchu!  I know he can’t sing, but my stories is on and he won’t leave me peace to watch ’em in!”

Official:  this song is the cure for priapism.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. May 21, 2010 12:53 am

    Stop. This is not cool.

    • May 21, 2010 12:55 am

      …You can’t possibly have anything redeeming to say about this song. You can’t possibly.

  2. May 21, 2010 1:46 am

    This song was the SHHHH (c) me via Somethin For The People

    I mean yeah, it was stupid, but I think I may still have the cassingle (and the full length)! And their cut on the Jason’s Lyric sdtk was good too… Granted I haven’t played it in years, but my hot-ass freshman (I think?) self enjoyed this thoroughly…

    Weren’t they related to McFadden’s Whitehead?

  3. Lite Bread permalink
    May 21, 2010 2:31 am

    Ms. Brokey?
    Whitehead?! Just the Name makes me think of bein’ a pimpely (Not a “pimp-y”, ok?) teenager and bustin’ them ‘heads on the mirror.
    Yesh Ms. Brokey – Holes (“gag, choke, vomit-reflect”).

    I had a marriage once that was “pumped like a gauge” though …
    or was that Why we was married?

    ‘Corse if she That lethal maybe she really into …
    necrophilia.

  4. May 21, 2010 3:20 am

    also, “your sex” is a phrase that should never, EVER be used to describe somebody’s performance in bed.

    “mmm, honey, your sex was great last night.”

    ??
    ..PUT ON YOUR DRAWS AND GET OUT OF MY BED.

  5. misterpalmer permalink
    June 25, 2010 11:36 am

    literallol@ “your sex”!

    Priapism:

    Definition:

    A persistent, often painful erection. The condition occurs when blood is unable to adequately drain from the penis. It is not associated with sexual stimulation, but may be caused by sickle cell anemia, trauma to the spinal cord or genital area, black widow spider bites, carbon monoxide poisoning, illicit drug use or certain prescription drugs. An antidepressant called trazodone is one drug which can potentially cause priapism. If not treated immediately, it can cause permanent scarring and erectile dysfunction.

  6. Toya permalink
    December 16, 2011 5:09 am

    LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! omg this is hilarious! i was looking at the Illtown “Real Christmas” post and came across this post….i remember this song too! hilarious! you all need to come back and update this blog…PLEASE!!!!!!

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