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Congrats, Splackie Award Winners!

January 26, 2011


"This some bullsh!t!"

You may be saying to yourself, “weren’t these results supposed to be announced January 2nd?”  And to that we say, shut up!  Unless your name is God, you’re totally not allowed to judge us.

Anywhom, we present to you, ladies and gentlejerks, the most ridiculous musical beings of 2010.


Who we voted for:

  • Smyph – Various Motherf#ckers – “We Are The World 2010″:  “I maintain that Mr. PacMan is the worst song of 2010, but I vote for “We Are The World” because Vince Vaughn was in it.  There’s no reason for Vince Vaughn to sing.”
  • Brokey – Various Motherf#ckers – We Are the World 2010:  “Wyclef’s warbling eclipses even Keri’s epileptic vajayjay.”

Who you voted for:

Keri Hilson by one itty bitty point!  You’ve officially been judged as worse than Wyclef’s warbling.. good luck dealing with that.


Who we voted for:

  • Smyph MC Hammer – Better Run Run: “Soulja Boy at least knew his song was silly.  It was SUPPOSED to be silly.  Hammer was serious.  It didn’t even rhyme sometimes.”
  • Brokey – Nicki Minaj – “Right Through Me”:  “No really, wtf is a “haddiyow?!”

Who you voted for:

Soulja Boy & his pretty boy swag! More like Almost Tolerable To Look At Boy Swag.  Amiright?!


Who we voted for:

  • SmyphThe Bed Intruder Song:  “They made an already ridiculous moment EVEN MORE ridiculous, and then made money off of it.  Who’s done better than that?”
  • Brokey – Rev. Rozay BMF Gospel Remix:  “Because really, I really do think I could be Paul.  For serious.”

Who you voted for:

Yung Humma feat. Flynt Flossy! I’m not even mad at this.  I will point out, though, that they likely got so many votes from their faithful followers after they tweeted the link to the voting page.  But as I said.  Not mad.  *tosses frying pan* *pelvic thrusts*


Who we voted for:

  • Smyph – Lil B – Look Like Jesus:  “This guy is an awful rapper and a horrible human being. It’s hard to sit through and watch the whole thing.”
  • BrokeyLil B – Look Like Jesus:  “Now I love me some ignorant music, but.. I had to say a few Hail Marys after listening to this.”

Who you voted for:

Lil B da Based God! Good call, family.  Good call.


Who we voted for:

  • Smyph – MC Hammer vs. Jay-Z:  “When Lil Kim said Nicki stole her swag, it almost made sense. When Hammer said Jay-z stole his swag…it made no sense at all. Jay has never danced and lost a lot of money. What else is there to steal?”
  • Brokey – MC Hammer vs. Jay-Z – Better Run Run: He’s dissing somebody who never even dissed him, ever. King Hammer?  More like King BOO BOO THE FOOL!  *raises hand in the air, waits for a high-five*  *slowly has a seat*

Who you voted for:

MC Hammer vs. Jay-Z! Ridiculousness:  universally agreed upon.


Who we voted for:

  • Smyph – T.I.:  “T.I, cause he decided to play a real life version of the Monopoly game that everyone wants to quit.”
  • Brokey – T.I.:  “You kind of expect DMX to always be going to jail.  But come on, T.I.  No excuse for you.

Who you voted for:

T.I.! Everybody thinks you’re dumb!


Who we voted for:

  • Smyph – Chingy:  “Vengence will be his on his next album, entitled “Balling Again??! (Double or Less Than Nothing)” Ft. Plies, Ke$sha, and VINCE VAUGHN!”
  • Brokey – N.E.R.D: “I would have voted for Coochie-poppin’ Kerry, but I took N.E.R.D’s suckage personally.  I LOVE them, and they treat me that way?? WTF!”

Who you voted for:

Chingy! Don’t be too mad, Chingy.. this is likely the only award you’ve won in the last 5 years.

THE LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD. Note!  We decided to name this Award after the first runner-up, to be so referenced in the future.

Who we voted for:

  • Smyph – 50 Tyson: “That kid ruined my entire summer.”
  • Brokey –50 Tyson:  “Boys call him 50, girls call him Tyson.  WHAT ARE YOU HATING ON RIGHT NOW?!”

Who you voted for:

Flynt Flossy! Driven way up by the fans, but we ain’t mad!

And, in accordance, this award shall henceforth now and forever more be titled the 50 Tyson Lifetime Achievement Award.

There you have ’em!  May 2011 be filled with some extra special ridiculousness for next year’s awards!  Thanks for voting!  Sorry this was put up so late!  GET OFF MY BACK!!

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Lite Bread permalink
    February 18, 2011 7:28 pm

    The thing about Keri Hilson’s “The Way You Love Me” is that it kinda built some expectation into it. The opening, with all those hottie, hot chicks, the opening Terets viginal-dancing, vi-jay-jay’s all in my face and I’m all primed for something Good …
    Then it’s just soooooo average and flat on the musical side, all that super-fine, over-sexualized, hot, enticing black chick skin just can’t overcome it for me (I tried, I really did).

    With “We Are The World” you KNEW that disaster-in-the-making would produce full-up Splackavellie fodder!

    Soulja Boy could win worst of about any category.

    I do think the Lil’ Kim vs. Nicki Minaj should have won (not least for the fact I’ll admit to a Lil’ Kim thang for myself …), mainly ‘cause Cat-Chick Fights is da best!
    Besides, guy beefs have this bad tendency to end up like thug-villa’s Biggie and “The Eternal Poet” Tupac playground problem solving skills.

    Everything else was about spot on.

  2. Lite Bread permalink
    February 25, 2011 1:37 am

    “Please Note: Your comment is awaiting moderation.”

    Is it “doin’ time”?
    How long is my sentence for?

  3. Lite Bread permalink
    March 11, 2011 12:44 am

    Dudes arms gotta be gettin’ very tired by now … he been holdin’ them Awards up in da air since January 26th …

    I’d set them done by now.

    Maybe he’s waiting “moderation” too …

  4. Lite Bread permalink
    April 12, 2011 4:10 am

    Ms. Brokey?
    You’s as LATE as my girl’s hairdresser at the Salon.

  5. December 20, 2011 10:36 pm

    Let’s start the 30 day countdown to One Year … and no post.

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