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Remakes That Shouldn’t Have Happened: ‘Float On’

September 17, 2010

Leo: And my name is some sh!t that can't nobody spell.

Today, I learned via Justin Roby on Twitter that The Floaters’ most ridiculous classic song “Float On” was remade by 80s hip hop group Stetsasonic with the Force MDs on the hook back in 1988.

It instantly sounded like a bad idea.

If this remake is, in fact, more ridiculous than the original, and I suspect it might be, it’s probably because this time around, we’re smacked in the face with the astrological signs of men with names like Delight, Daddy-O, and motherf*cking FRUKWAN (Gravediggaz notoriety aside, you still don’t get a pass for that, Frukwan).  The Floaters could at least buy themselves a little more time by being somewhat normal in their introductions.  I’m thinking it’s the difference between this:

Ralph: Aquarius– and my name is Ralph!

Woman at bar: Um.. good for you, Ralph, but I don’t think I asked you any of that.

Ralph: Hey, hey, hey!  Cool out, now, mama.  I just wanted the chance to tell you how my star signs affects my personality and what I like in a woman over a nice cold glass of Mad Dog.

Woman at bar: No I’m sorry, I’m not… did you say Mad Dog?  Well okay, but you gotta leave when my girlfriend comes back, you’re sitting in her seat.

And this:

Frukwan: Cancer:  and my name is Frukwan.

Woman at bar: Oh hell no.  *gets up, walks away*

I’m giving this one to the drunk uncles.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. September 17, 2010 4:16 pm

    I instantly saw “Float On,” and got to side shuffling… but really, that song is chockfulla nonsensical pickup lines, Brut, and desparation.

    But it is funny, doe.

    • September 17, 2010 4:17 pm

      and Boones Farm. don’t forget the Boones Farm.

    • Lite Bread permalink
      September 18, 2010 8:54 pm

      No, that’s not Brut. It’s cheaper than that …
      it’s AXE. Bought from behind the locked glass at RiteAid.

      And if it’s the 80’s it’s Pink Champale… ‘cuz I know that one …

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