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The Floaters: Who Let Your Drunk Uncles in the Studio?

June 28, 2010

Pictured: The Floaters. Not pictured: Their distended abdomens.

“Float On” by The Floaters is a hilarious song.  It’s just so antiquated, calling forth the days when men and women would use their astrological sign as 86% of the game they threw at their prey. If you close your eyes while listening to it, you can see somebody named Leroy ponied up at the bar with chicken wing crumbs caught in his mustache trying to buy some lady a glass of the finest champipple available.

Maybe that’s why this song is so drunk uncle-y.

A lot of good has come from “Float On.”  It was the inspiration for the Sesame Street classic “Gimmie Five.”  It was the song that Jazz walked down the aisle to when he got married to Jewel on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.  It makes your Aunt Cheryl demonstrate just how much Mad Dog she’s had at your family reunion.  But how did it come about?

We don’t know.  but we’re guessing it went a little something like this:

Larry: Ay! Ay y’all, this where my nephew Poot-Poot come in here and do his music shit at…I think he got some beer in a fridge here somewhere down here since Paul done drank up all the everythang.

Paul: You cain’t put that on me, man! You know I don’t drink no beer if it ain’t malted anyway, you hear me??! *pimp runs around the room*

Charles: WHERE THE ‘YAC AT??!

Ralph: Shut up, fool! Hey Larry, what you say Ronnie ‘nem do in here? Music? Aw, shit, we could do that! We can make somethin’ for the ladies, man!

Charles: AIN’T NO BOONES FARM OR NOTHIN IN HERE, MAN!

Larry: Yeah! Say, man, that ain’t a bad idea! There’s this redbone that work at the Snackin’ Shack I been tryin’ to get at for the longest!

Ralph: Awwww yeah! I’ma get on that microphone, talkin’ bout some “I’M A SCORPIO! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEAN, GIRL??!” *inappropriate hip gyration*

Charles: THIS SOME BULLSHIT!!!

Gotta hand it to ‘em though. The foot action is *crazy* in the video and this song is better than ANYTHING that Trey Songz will ever do in the history of his life.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Lite Bread permalink
    June 28, 2010 11:55 pm

    Ms. Brokey,
    For some reason this song always makes me think of one I liked a lot better (but just as retrospect-corny), that being Faze-O’s “Ridin’ High”
    “Let me take you on a love high …”

    Further, to run this thing right down to the gutter of potty jokes, we all do know what a “floater” is, right?

    And I got pretty nice memories of that song, some Champale, my 1970’s Ford and one semi-sweet chocolate honey from High School.
    But they’re only memories now …

  2. June 29, 2010 4:48 am

    I always bust out laughing when larry comes on the mic. He sounds a tad tropical, if ya know what I mean.

    I think if it wasn’t for this song, that other song wouldn’t exist. I can’t think of the exact name, but there’s a woman singing “before we turn off the lights, let’s get one thing understoooooood…” That song, was a piece of crap. This one at least had merit.

  3. June 29, 2010 8:45 pm

    Why don’t various cool uncles get together and sing like this anymore?

Trackbacks

  1. Remakes That Shouldn’t Have Happened: ‘Float On’ « Splackavellie Central
  2. BRB! « Splackavellie Central

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