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Well, SOMEone Ate Their Cocky-O’s This Morning.

May 13, 2010

And that someone is none other than Trey Songz, or, as we like to call him around these parts, R. Kelly, Jr.  Statistics show that R. Kelly is behind 89% of all songs that have the word “sex” in the title (“Sex Planet,” “Sex in the Kitchen,” “Sex Weed,” etc.).  We’re pretty sure he had a little something to do with “Invented Sex,” too.

But we digress.  This isn’t about R. Kelly; it’s about the slice of humble pie that is probably rotting on Trey Songz’ windowsill right now because he damn sure didn’t eat it.

Being cocky is okay.  But there’s a fine line between being cocky and being downright delusional.  First you think you invented sex (Adam and Eve would NOT appreciate you taking credit for their patent, by the way), and now you think that’s the reason the neighbors know your name?  The sole reason?  Wrong!  You ain’t special!  The neighbors know my name too, for perfectly logical reasons!

  • Because it’s on my mailbox
  • Because we meet regularly at neighborhood watch meetings
  • Because I invited them to my wedding
  • Because they googled my address
  • Because the postman accidentally gives them my mail sometimes
  • Because I introduced myself when I moved in
  • Because my favorite shirt has my name airbrushed on them
  • Because I went to school with their kids
  • Because it’s on my welcome mat
  • Because I’m a registered sex offender (I don’t want to talk about it.)

We got your number, R. Kelly, Jr.!!

11 Comments leave one →
  1. Roxy permalink
    May 13, 2010 3:27 pm

    “Sex Weed”?! Where dat at?

    No matter how bad the munchies are, I’m not eating that cereal.

    • July 29, 2010 12:14 am

      “You remind me of my weed…no, you don’t, my weed makes me forget to check the girlie’s age…what was I doing?”
      -R. Kelly during a “Sex Weed” outtake

  2. May 13, 2010 4:25 pm

    Loving this post. It’s that sort of pompous egotism that makes me hate Tremaine. I thought his music was cool with “Just Gotta Make It”. You know, talented singer, but still humble. 5 years later, he’s the self proclaimed Cock-of-the-Walk, even going as far as dissing the man who almost singlehandedly created the genre in which Trigga Trey has made his living.

    What a tool.

  3. May 13, 2010 8:38 pm

    So…what exactly would happen if Trey Songz & R. Kelly recorded a song together?

  4. May 16, 2010 1:32 am

    I know my neighbor’s name too! M*therF**ker. At least that’s what she calls him when they’re arguing.

    (I love Trey! Even though I did feel bad for the neighbors when I first heard the song.)

  5. May 16, 2010 3:25 am

    omg i hate trey songz!!! i saw a thing on mtv where he was like “my music has a sexual undertone.” FOOL THATS THE ONLY TONE! it may sound like more than one tone cuz your voice sounds so damn warbly, but thats all you got kid.

  6. redbonegirl permalink
    May 16, 2010 11:55 pm

    Sorry I am liking some Trey, no I wouldn’t pay to see him, but I do like him. I wouldn’t pay to see R. Kelly either. Back in the day yes but now, no.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate

  7. Groucho permalink
    June 19, 2010 9:10 pm

    as I said on another blog somewhere, Trey Songz is just the light-skinned Ray J.

    • vanitaapplebum permalink
      October 8, 2010 4:41 pm

      umm that would be “light-skinned-ded”.

      Please and thank you.


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