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Leon Haywood Wants to Do Somethin’ Freaky to You.

April 16, 2010

That hand is reaching for a boob.

This is the song that, when it comes on at your family reunion, your drunk uncles Clavis and Junebug get crunk about.  This is the one that makes them throw their hands up in the air and start tellin’ you about how you “don’t know nothin’ ’bout this HEAH!”  Then Aunt Poochie and Aunt Cheryl come out and start tellin’ stories about what they were into when this song was big and then it just gets weird for everybody under the age of 35.

This song HAD to be made by a man named Leon.  Ain’t no other way.  Can you imagine?  “And now, we gon’ play a happenin’ tune called “I Want’a Do Somethin’ Freaky to You” by Reginald Q. Peabody!  Give it up!”  That don’t work.  Ain’t enough stank on it.  Only a man named Leon can give you such lines as:

Yo love is like a mountain
And I wanna slide down into yo canyon

Ladies, imagine:  you’re in a club.  You’re at the bar, maybe alone, maybe with your girlfriends.  And this man walks up to you and tells you he wants to slide down into your canyon, and that he will additionally put it where you want it for as long as you need it.  Visualize it.  Really get a good picture going.  I bet you’ve instinctively and subconsciously pulling an imaginary jacket over your boobs now, aren’t you?

I bet Leon left a murky film all over anything he touched.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. Roxy permalink
    April 16, 2010 1:50 pm

    I will avoid lounges because of this post. Thanks!

  2. MrQ45 permalink
    April 16, 2010 1:52 pm

    This was great. He reminds me of Leon Phelps: Ladies Man.

    It always seems that the perverts are named Leon.

  3. Lite Bread permalink
    April 16, 2010 4:27 pm

    Ms. Brokey,
    You just brought flashback memories of my kids family reunion (they let me come too; even called me an ‘honorary family member’, lol) and their Grandparents breakin’ it down to the Ohio Players and “Skin Tight”, tellin’ us “Ya’ll don’t know what Funky is!” Nothing like watching your old in-laws shake that groove thang around the picnic area in public, with the BoomBox blarin’ out the 70’s jams!

    And something about Mr. Leon “Greasy Finger’s Haywood that makes me think that song shoulda been in “Shaft”, like it was written by Mr. Isaac Hayes.
    So here’s this:

  4. Lite Bread permalink
    April 16, 2010 4:40 pm

    How’d THAT happen Ms. Brokey??? I didn’t expect the whole dang YouTube box to pop up and scare away everybody. It was to be an “Elective Decision” to see that …

    Sorry ’bout that.

  5. May 14, 2010 7:15 pm

    He looks like Keenan Ivory Wayans…

  6. July 30, 2010 1:32 pm

    That’s not worse than this guy:

    I am sure he’s twice as greazy (not greasy, greeeazzzzy) as our man Leon.

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