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Mario Has Tourettes?

April 13, 2010

"Yeah, the album is doin' pretty well F&CK! SH!T C*CKBURGER! and I've been in the studio a lot, so I'm real excited about that..."

Remember Mario‘s song “Break Up” featuring Gucci Mane and Sean Garrett?  You liked it, didn’t you?  It’s okay.  It was catchy and it was everywhere, so it’s only natural that it would grow on you.  Were you too busy p-poppin’ and booty tootin’ to notice the crazy in the stanzas?

So in the song, our suavetastic lover is asking his boo why she would want to break up and, presumably, giving her reasons why she shouldn’t want to.  His reasons start off fine enough, I guess, but then they just get kind of weird and illogical.

When I kiss you so good
Why would you wanna break up?
When this lovin’ is so good
Why would you wanna break up?

Okay.  Good kisses?  Good lovin’?  Maybe I should stay with you and your Grand Canyon nostrils, Mario.  Keep talkin’–I’m listenin’.

When I hit that so good
Why would you wanna break up?
When this feelin’ is so good
Why would you wanna break up?

Whaaaat?  Mario’s old enough for that now?  WORD!  Make it feel good, boo!  I got one foot inside the door and the other one is thinkin’ ’bout joinin’ it!

Do anythin’ for you
Why would you wanna break up?
See, I been drivin’ through your hood
Why would you wanna break up?

…Eh?

What does you diving through my neighborhood have to do anything?  You know how many people drive down that street everyday?  Do I owe each of them a piece of the draws?  Why is this a valiant accomplishment?  What kind of sacrifice is this?  What, are you throwin’ shade on my hood or somethin’, Mario?  Are you too good for my hood?

Or maybe this is an allusion to stalking??  Is this like, “See, I be drivin’ through your hood to see if your car is there, and if it ain’t there, I go over your mama house, then to your girlfriend Treneika house, and if it ain’t there, I start hittin’ up all your hangouts (Leroy’s Donuts and Fried Baloney Hut, The Shake ‘Em Shack, etc.)??”  Maybe what he REALLY wanted to say was “I grant all of your wishes/Why would you wanna break up?/I’M HIDIN’ IN YO BUSHES/Why would you wanna break up?”

I dunno.  Just some theories.

Beyond that, there’s the time that he very randomly seems to just start screaming a bunch of nonsensical sounds in the middle of his singing.

Don’t, don’t I lace you with the Gucci?
Don’t, don’t I deck you in the Louis?
Don’t, don’t I make your earlobe freeze?
DON’T WHEN I DAH BUH DAH DEEEEEEEEEE?

Um, WHAT?

Now supposedly what he’s saying there is “don’t when I dive, I dive deep.”  But I ain’t buying it.  It think he has Secret Tourette’s.  Listen for yourselves!  It’s at the 1:30 mark, plain as the nostrils on Mario’s neck!

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. J.Nicole permalink
    April 13, 2010 2:59 pm

    Ok I need to stop reading SC when @ work because it’s getting harder to explain the random bouts of laughter sputtering from my lips. This was my SONG tho. Damn catchy Bangladesh beats!

  2. Hassan permalink
    April 13, 2010 3:16 pm

    Hilarious! And while I prefer your version of the lyrics, I believe he actually is saying, “When I dive, don’t I dive deeeeep!” Which I guess means he is a enthusiastic cunnilinguist. Maybe he harbors some deep seeded shame about the act and slurred his words. I can’t call it.

  3. April 13, 2010 4:39 pm

    Not the nostrils on his NECK…
    his neck??
    Really?
    MmmmmKay, then…

  4. April 13, 2010 6:24 pm

    LMAO since this was my JAM for about 10 good minutes, Piggy Wiggy loved to try and sing along. For her, DAH BUH DAH DEEEEEEEEEE was the climax. Picture it: two year old chunky monkey in her carseat filling my vehicle with all kinds of raw emotion. Good times.

    I need a camcorder.

  5. April 14, 2010 1:00 am

    Omg I’m on the train lookin a plum fool right now lmao! “I’m hidin in your bushes”? I can’t.

  6. imsopretty08 permalink
    April 14, 2010 2:04 am

    I STILL say dab dabba dah beeeee when the song comes on. I don’t believe he is sayin whatever he sayin bout divin deep either. I too have wondered why drivin thru my hood is a valid reason on why we should stay together….anybody got an answer? no? I’ll wait…

    • Ralonda permalink
      April 14, 2010 3:27 pm

      Because if they DON’T, that nigga knows where she lives.

  7. MrQ45 permalink
    May 16, 2010 4:15 am

    Man. I was listening to Mario’s “Just A Friend (2000)” and I realized that his stalker-y tendencies were showing even then. Idk how I missed it all these years. I was singing along and thinking about this post when it clicked. I present Exhibit A:

    “I wanna know your name and
    If you gotta man,
    I wanna know everything.
    I wanna know ya number and
    If I can come over and
    I wanna know what ya like
    I wanna know
    So I can do it all night
    But you’re telling me I’m just a friend
    You’re telling me I’m just a friend”

    Excuse me? I think you’re coming on a little strong bro. Secondly? If you’re already “friends” how do you not know her name? Exactly. You’ve concocted this crazy fictional relationship in your lunatic head. What kind of friend needs to do things to a lady all night? It’s apparent that they must not know each other too well, hence the 20 Questions.

    Now every time I hear the song, I picture the girl filing for a restraining order.

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