Jack Benson Wants Your Ho.
What’s the proper spelling of “ho,” anyway? E at the end, or no? If “ho” is a diminutive/colloquialism for “whore,” and “whore” clearly has an e on the end, can we deduce that “ho” should not be “ho,” but “hoe?” If so, the title of this post should be “Jack Benson Wants Your Hoe.” But how do we keep from getting that mixed up with the garden tool, though? Because Jack Benson does not want the agricultural tool you use for gardening. He wants your bitch. Give it to him. Give it to him. Right now.
If you don’t know who Jack Benson is, don’t worry. Not many people do, as he’s an old school underground R&B smash. If you don’t know who Von Pea is, pull up a chair and get familiar or kill yourself. Up to you.
Von Pea is 1/3 of the rap group Tanya Morgan, who is monumentally better than like all of the acts they show on BET, including Bobby Jones and his sparkly drag show blazers. The streets still aren’t sure if Jack Benson is Von Pea’s alter ego or if Von Pea is Jack Benson’s alter ego, or if they’re actually two separate people who, as legend has it, ran into each other after Jack Benson’s stint as a backup singer for Al B. Sure! and tumbled into a studio together, making the amazing music I will link to you shortly.
Now you may be thinking to yourself, “Self, why should I give a damn about this Jack Benson person?” And to that, I say, “Shut up!” (c) Loomis Simmons. Jack Benson is classy. Jack Benson is sophisticated. Jack Benson is, to date, the only person to make a diss song about Sisqo. One of Jack Benson’s greatest ballads is a narrative song about his undying love for an older woman, entitled “Babysitter,” of which I will quote for you now:
I remember, back in the day
Didn’t go outside, no, didn’t play
I stayed inside with my babysitter
Touchin’ her titties, that was the shit, nigga
POETRY. Pure, wild, unbridled, unapologetic poetry.
Listen to his only album here. Happy Friday, and you’re welcome.
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*Gotta pay my groupie dues: Read more about Tanya Morgan here. Buy their music here. Send them love letters here. Follow Von Pea, Donwill and Ilyas on Twitter here, here, and here. And pick up Donwill’s latest, Tanya Morgan Presents Don Cusack in High Fidelity here.