Dumb R. Kelly Lyric of the Week
So I was going to write a post about R. Kelly’s penchant for stupid lyrics, but I quickly realized that such an endeavor would take me all of my natural born life to complete for two reasons: 1 – he’s made like 23 grillion songs in his career (so far); 2 – ALL OF THEM ARE IDIOTIC. So instead, I figured we could look at one stupid lyric per week. That way, we may at least cover half of them by the year 2130.
Our first specimen comes from the song “Kiss Your Candy,” which I’m guessing was on an unreleased album because I couldn’t find it in his discography. I stumbled upon it while looking up the lyrics to another dumb ass song of his and I thought that maybe they were just typed incorrectly, so then I listened to it and… it really sounds like this is what he’s saying:
Eyes dark brown your skin is caramel
Girl you taste like nut juice
See your just like a box of cherries
And girl I wanna eat you
..UM EXCUSE ME, SIR, BUT WTF??!!
You taste like nut juice?? Nut juice?! WHAT!?
Somebody please listen (it’s around the 2:55 mark) and tell me that this is not what this baby-pissing son of a bitch said. I’m thinking since he’s talkin’ about candy and stuff he’s actually saying “nut chews? ” Maybe? Hopefully??! But hell even so, out of all the cute, delicious candy treats at your referencing disposal, you want to compare me to something nutty?!