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Splackawhat? Splackawho?

March 1, 2010

OH HAI I MADES UP A WERD LULz

Welcome, welcome, everyone!  March 1st, as promised!  I’m so excited!!  I didn’t know what song/video/genre to start with, and then I figured it’d make sense to start with the song that gave me the name for this entire project.

‘Splackavellie,’ if you’re not familiar with it, is a song by a guy named Pressha.  It appeared on both his album Don’t Get it Twisted as well as on The Player’s Club Soundtrack in 1998.  I chose to name this blog after this song because it’s pretty much a good, solid epitome of ridiculous 90s R&B.  For starters… what the fuck is a “splackavellie??”  It sounds like some made up mob family name.  Or like a word some dumb kid who always wanted to start his own slang made up.  Has anyone ever used this phrase in everyday conversation, exluding referencing or making fun of this song (“Hey, girl, what’chu doin tonight?  You wanna go see “Ace Ventura” at the movies?”  “Naw, girl, I’m hangin’ with my splackavellie tonight.”)  Did splackavellies exist before 1997?  Is this somethin Pressha made up himself??  Honest questions here.

I was always a word nerd, even as a kid; I was fascinated by language and how certain words and phrases travelled from coast to coast and around the world and always wanted to create the next cool saying.  I went through several catch phrases, none of which worked (the one I stuck with the longest was ‘meatloaf,’ which I would say with my hand on my hip and eyes rolling in response to something absurd).  I say all this to say that I’m pretty sure that that’s what happened with this ‘splackavellie’ business.  This dude thought he was gonna come in and change the vernacular game.  Sorry, guys.  Nobody’s runnin’ around sayin’ “meatloaf” when faced with ridiculousness.  And they ain’t callin’ nobody a splackavellie, either.

Anyway, the word was written and the song was made.  The song defines the word for us confused listeners. In modern terms, it’s pretty much a fuck buddy.  But back in 1997/8, it was a “superman” who would “take you in his bedroom/and hit you with some front back and side to side/like hydraulics on a stormy night;” a “brotha she can call when her man ain’t doin’ her right.”  …hydraulics on a stormy night?? Meatloaf!
One of the best parts of the song for me is when Pressha sings for somebody (listeners?  Imaginary women in need of splackavellies?) to spell ‘splackavellie.’  lol.  I’m thinking if you want people to spell your name, you should make up something a little less complicated and more sensible!  Now can *I* spell splackavellie?  Hell yeah, I’m a genius.  But your average layman?
Pressha: Yeah, girl, you like that?  Yeah, I know you do.  Say my name, girl!  Naw, matter fact, I want you to spell it!
Girl: Um.. S.. P.. L.. A… K.. um, maybe another K.. and then.. I?  Can you use it in a sentence?  Fuck this, gimmie my panties, I’m out!
Lol.  Dumb.  Just dumb all over.  Oh, but this next part is awesome:  According to wikipedia, the song was “banned in Austria after its was found to be connected with a Neo-Nazi group responsible for the vandalism of synagogues and Jewish cemeteries.”

ICH BIN EIN SPLACKAVELLIE*

LOL WHAT??  I feel like the story behind this has to be spectacular.  I envision a group of skinheads sitting in a Buick smokin’ weed and listening to “Splackavellie” late one night, like “Man…this shit, man.  This just gets me so hype!!  You know what we should do?  Let’s go fuck up a cemetary!!!”
Lol.  Completely asinine.
Anyway, we have Pressha to thank (or curse) for our namesake.  Heil Splackavellie! (Listen to the song and watch the video here.)
*Oh shit, is that the one dude from Whose Line is it Anyway in that Nazi pic???
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12 Comments leave one →
  1. MrQ45 permalink
    March 1, 2010 4:31 pm

    I don’t know how I missed this.

  2. March 1, 2010 4:43 pm

    You should really put the link to the video earlier in the post so people can get a good look/listen at this tomfoolery while they read your post! LOL.

    I actually have the Players Club Soundtrack and never knew this song was on it! Never got past “We Be Clubbin'”! ROFL.

    LMAO @ Mari Morrow in the video.

    Hilarious!

    • March 1, 2010 5:33 pm

      lol omg ‘we be clubbin’ was my SONG! i was singin that in the shower just yesterday lol

  3. MosSteph permalink
    March 1, 2010 5:18 pm

    Your blogs give me life. And I’m totally with you on the attempts to popularize new words. Ummm, I still do that. But like the brunette in Mean Girls, my friends always shut me down. sigh.. Meatloaf!

    • March 1, 2010 5:34 pm

      i think we should make ‘meatloaf’ the official expression of ridiculousness at SC. it prolly still wldnt catch on lol

  4. Lite Bread permalink
    March 1, 2010 6:29 pm

    Ms. Brokey,
    “Meatloaf”???!!! LOL. I had more fun with that than the song!

    But as soon as I read meatloaf, I couldn’t get the image of the real Meat Loaf outta my head, aka Pillsbury Doughboy does Punk. Ya know, the guy that did the “Bat Out of Hell” trilogy and was in Rocky Horror Picture Show (along with other stuff).

    OK. I got to go “get jiggy with it”. MEATLOAF! (Right arm raised in a salute to you. Hey, it ain’t February no more).

    (PS. Did Ms. Kim Malone ask about me yet?)

  5. March 1, 2010 7:44 pm

    LMAO this blog is everything I ever dreamed and then some. Kudos, Brokey!

  6. March 1, 2010 8:38 pm

    The funfact about it being banned in Austria totally gave me life.

    YASSSS…

    Oh and I’m still trying to get phrases going. I swear I’ve gotten a handful going but I can’t prove it because, you know, you never know who overhears you in a mall or something and runs with it.

    That WAAAAAAAASSSSUP thing Budweiser had? I so started it.

    Anyone down for bringing “bout it, bout it,” back, with me? Lemme know.

    Anyway, I’m about to go watch this video because I REMEMBER sanging this song and loving it. Please and thanks — the spelling is the BEST part.

    Come to think of it, how the hell did he even decide what letter to use? Eh.

  7. MosSteph permalink
    March 2, 2010 4:05 am

    So I finally watched the video and all I can say is…wow. I get the concept, I totally follow it, but I’m completely puzzled by the choice of descriptive term. Splackavellie? Who was sitting the studio high like ‘yooooo, you know what we should call this song? splackavellie. that’d be HOT son…’
    As for the actual plot,

    ***SPOILER ALERT***

    I loved Shemar Moore as the undercover paid escort/hero of the story. Who DOESN’T wanna fall for the man that her cheating husband paid to seduce her? Oh hilarity, your name is Pressha.

  8. March 4, 2010 9:51 pm

    This blog is definitely FTW!!! I forgot ALL about this horrible song, and only after seeing the video did I remember clowning the HELL out of the singer as well as Mari Marrow’s stiff as a door acting.

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  1. BRB! « Splackavellie Central

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