Well, SOMEone Ate Their Cocky-O’s This Morning.
And that someone is none other than Trey Songz, or, as we like to call him around these parts, R. Kelly, Jr. Statistics show that R. Kelly is behind 89% of all songs that have the word “sex” in the title (“Sex Planet,” “Sex in the Kitchen,” “Sex Weed,” etc.). We’re pretty sure he had a little something to do with “Invented Sex,” too.
But we digress. This isn’t about R. Kelly; it’s about the slice of humble pie that is probably rotting on Trey Songz’ windowsill right now because he damn sure didn’t eat it.
Being cocky is okay. But there’s a fine line between being cocky and being downright delusional. First you think you invented sex (Adam and Eve would NOT appreciate you taking credit for their patent, by the way), and now you think that’s the reason the neighbors know your name? The sole reason? Wrong! You ain’t special! The neighbors know my name too, for perfectly logical reasons!
- Because it’s on my mailbox
- Because we meet regularly at neighborhood watch meetings
- Because I invited them to my wedding
- Because they googled my address
- Because the postman accidentally gives them my mail sometimes
- Because I introduced myself when I moved in
- Because my favorite shirt has my name airbrushed on them
- Because I went to school with their kids
- Because it’s on my welcome mat
- Because I’m a registered sex offender (I don’t want to talk about it.)
We got your number, R. Kelly, Jr.!!