Leon Haywood Wants to Do Somethin' Freaky to You.

That hand is reaching for a boob.

This is the song that, when it comes on at your family reunion, your drunk uncles Clavis and Junebug get crunk about.  This is the one that makes them throw their hands up in the air and start tellin’ you about how you “don’t know nothin’ ’bout this HEAH!”  Then Aunt Poochie and Aunt Cheryl come out and start tellin’ stories about what they were into when this song was big and then it just gets weird for everybody under the age of 35.

This song HAD to be made by a man named Leon.  Ain’t no other way.  Can you imagine?  “And now, we gon’ play a happenin’ tune called “I Want’a Do Somethin’ Freaky to You” by Reginald Q. Peabody!  Give it up!”  That don’t work.  Ain’t enough stank on it.  Only a man named Leon can give you such lines as:

Yo love is like a mountain
And I wanna slide down into yo canyon

Ladies, imagine:  you’re in a club.  You’re at the bar, maybe alone, maybe with your girlfriends.  And this man walks up to you and tells you he wants to slide down into your canyon, and that he will additionally put it where you want it for as long as you need it.  Visualize it.  Really get a good picture going.  I bet you’ve instinctively and subconsciously pulling an imaginary jacket over your boobs now, aren’t you?

I bet Leon left a murky film all over anything he touched.

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